Living with anxiety can mean a lot of different things: from experiencing uncomfortable and life-limiting physical symptoms, including things like headaches and gastrointestinal upset, to losing time to attentional difficulties and indecision, to altogether avoiding activities that result in a rich, full, and meaningful life (because of the desire to avoid anxiety and discomfort). Anxiety is a menace. It can be all-consuming and create real barriers to meaningful living.
Though cultural narratives will lead you to believe that you should “glow” and feel calm, blissful, and excited during pregnancy and postpartum, many people find that their actual experience is marked by fluctuating emotions, highs and lows, and worry about their mental health. For some, especially those with known increased risk for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs: a term that encompasses perinatal and postpartum depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bipolar disorders, psychosis, and posttraumatic stress), the perinatal period, which covers pregnancy and the first year after a baby is born, can lead to frequent worry and rumination.
Individuals with a history of traumatic events are reporting more frequent trauma reminders and symptoms during this pandemic: increased intrusive thoughts and/or nightmares; insomnia and disrupted sleep; increased uneasiness, anxiety, and fear; mistrust and emotional detachment or numbing; feelings of sadness and/or overwhelming guilt or shame. There are several reasons why pandemic could be associated with a greater frequency of trauma reminders and trauma-related symptoms. Take heart, as this pandemic will not last forever, and neither will your uptick in symptoms.
Why is this happening?
During my first meeting with a prospective client, I like to ask a few key questions:
How would we know if therapy was working for you?
What would be some signs that we could look for that would suggest that we were making progress toward your goals?
Responses to these kinds of questions vary; however, since I frequently treat clients presenting with concerns related to anxiety, responses often go something like this:
I would feel less anxious. I wouldn’t be so controlled by my emotions. I could make decisions based on what I wanted to do, instead of based on how much anxiety I think I would feel in any given situation. I would feel more free.
I like words. A lot. Words convey meaning, communicate ideas, and tell stories. They connect the dots. They connect people. They really matter to me. They matter to Juli, too, and when it came time to choose a word or words to name our psychotherapy practice, we wanted to be thoughtful and intentional.
As we approach our own work and the work that we do with our clients, we often ask:
How do you want to be? With yourself? With others?